missing him again

why is it that i'm missing him more when he's making his presence felt once in a while than when he is totally absent?

here are some lines inspired by missing my "pare" (we are not really magkumpare. tawagan lang), but not dedicated to him~

how i'd love to see you again
even for just a few seconds
i would, if i could buy a single moment
of having our eyes met
of having the chance to smile at you
then i'd keep that single picture in my mind
of you smiling back at me

tonight, i'd like to have you in my dream
to feel like it was real
those moments that have gone
when i was still your princess
when i was your beautiful & nice friend

how i'd love to know
that you are missing me too

(sa lahat naman ng senti, bakit ako corny? haaayyy...)

play> (how abt w/ ur heart?)

C’mon jam with me. I’ll try to strike the right chords of your favorite songs. We’ll play a crazy repertoire. I’m gonna rock your world. You’ll surely be the first one to get tired.

C’mon bring your racket. We’ll go smashing at the court. I’ll give you a good game for as many hours as you like. Though I perspire a lot, you’ll surely be the first one to give up.

Let’s play! We’ll have some fun. Don’t worry when you’re exhausted; You can always quit anytime.

How about our hearts? Let’s play with them, too...

my favorite things>>

happy holidays!

Merry Christmas to all!

I'm only trying hard to make an entry because it's been a long time since I last posted any. So, "Do you have the time to listen to me whine about nothing and everything all at once?" Let me blabber as I bore myself (& u, if u may) to sleep...

I'm not in the mood to think and work, but I want to get a lot of things done. Well, I believe you know how that feels. Times like these happen. It's hard to focus on one thing when there's so much you want to give your attention to. Now, I just want to have a new entry although there's really nothing I want to post on my blog. I will blabber more...

It's past 2AM. I have recently disciplined myself of getting up early to make it to the new 7am-4pm working hours for govt employees. I am not bound to break it anytime soon. So I have to wake up at 5am at the latest if I ever sleep at all. So good luck to me!

I miss badminton. The tourney was over. My partner made it only up to the semis. A sad thing. Last week championship was fantastic! My teammates playing for women's doubles who made it to the finals won. And so was the team I cheered for in men's doubles, in which game the 2nd & 3rd set needed tie-breakers. A happy thing! It was also the Christmas party of that badminton club. To add a little fun, they held raffle during breaks in the game where at stake among others were t-shirts, tumblers, shoebags, a racket bag, and the most coveted prize of a racket. After the games, the lucky winner of the grand prize was called and you guessed it right, it was me! A happy happy thing!

It was a Yonex Armortec 9000 which they said costs less than 2 thou. It's just right that I got it since I know most players in that club already have rackets that cost a lot more than that. And I'll be the one who would overwhelmingly appreciate it not only because my old racket's price is less than a third of the new one I got for free, but because it's so good enough for me to inspire me to play better. You see, I'm not good at this sport even if I am passionate about it, and I am not just being modest here. That racket has not yet been broken in. My friends who I play with are not around, if not very busy, for the holidays. Well, maybe I won't miss playing much while the holiday rush is on. I still haven't shopped for gifts!

Last weekend was spent on five different Christmas-related "get-togethers". Not much partying and exchange gifts these days, I think. Just getting together for food, drinks, and stories (or videoke) is enough for a quality fellowship. And it should always happen while it's dark. We sleep when the sun is up. But on weekdays, it cannot be the case. Haay...

Okay, I will stop blabbering now. I pray that I soon stop procrastinating. Isn't it time to make resolutions? I guess I need a lift in spirit. It's not that I'm sad. In fact, this yearend is way happier than my last one. And I am inspired! Don't you think it's contradicting to be inspired and be lazy at the same time? Oh well, I have a theory, and this has always been my finding - I lack sleep that's why I cannot focus and am disoriented most of the time. Didn't I just say I will stop blabbering now?!

I'll go to bed. Again, Merry Christmas to all! Godspeed...

in like

I like you a lot
And I just write these pathetic lines
As I could not begin to tell you that
I really like you a lot

These words
Trying to express how I feel about you
Have nothing else to say but
I simply like you
They will never reach you

I can say it over and again
I like you, I like you, I like you
It will be written all around
It doesn’t say anything else at all

It will never reach you
I like you a lot
That’s what I know


(this is not dedicated to anyone. kunyari lang im "in like". whatevah!)

unsolicited

I only had a few hours of sleep since I went to bed at 3am coming from the gig of Paolo Santos last night at altered native bar with my friends. And I had to get up early for the 8am mass where the choir I just joined was scheduled to serve.

This morning was the first time I joined the choir. Officially, that is. There had only been about two occasions when I happened to be with this choir group on service because I was with some members who are my friends. But I was not part of it. I had always resisted their invitation since I could not commit to it due to inconvenience in distance as I live far from their area of service, although I hear mass in a church in their place. This time, I finally acceded their invitation again since I really wanted to join a choir, not to say that they badly needed more persons to sing. And I was more than glad to help.

Also this morning, I got this request from two choir members for me to join their band they're trying to revive. As the lead vocalist, my dear! I couldn't believe they are seriously considering me. I heard them joked about it one jam session a long time ago, but I never imagined they'd really get to the point of courting me to join them. I was in such a hard situation surprised by it all, and knowing that performing was part of my fantasy. I have this big, hidden star complex, you know. There was no way it could be for real. I just can't do that, I told them stage fright, etc. It was such a pain hearing them plead, encourage, and trust me when I couldn't give a yes or a no. Neither answer could give me peace. Sigh!

(I have more kwento pa sana abt today e. kaso na-overwhelm na ko sa nasabi ko so far. im sure, more overwhelming pa yung next na nangyari kasi napasok na naman ako sa isang malaking responsibilidad. the yr ahead will surely be hectic. haay buhaay!)

Another thought. Despite the busy day and my dizziness, I still remembered that it had been a year since that day I spent a happy time with the guy I loved the greatest (i think) so far. I missed him again. And it don't look like I'll ever stop my wondering about him yet.

sleep

i love sleeping. yesterday i had more than enough sleep. govt work was suspended due to the much feared super typhoon yoyong. it's already good news that this storm didn't do more damage than typhoon winnie or than what was predicted.

sleep is luxury to me. i don't think time spent on sleeping is ever a waste. i don't get enough of it so many times, so whenever i get the chance, u know what i do.

and i think there's another reason why im (more lethargic?) like this. apart from sleeping, im doing a lot of daydreaming. that explains why iv not been productive lately. i just want to think about my new crush. yikes! well, he's someone i like a lot but not the kind who would ever be for me. because he's a man who must be a decade and a half my senior, and must be married and have kids. there's always a "po" whenever i speak to him.

but i like him as he is. maybe he's my ideal man. i think of him as how a man should be. i just love his peronality! we're not close though. he is all nice! oh no, i can't start telling all the good things i see in him. it just won't be fair. i really have this big admiration for him. i can only hope that i'll meet a man like him who could be for me.

just the other day, he saw me while i was in a hurry busy texting and in a bad hair and greeted me, "good morning, del!" when i looked up, i just said "ay, good morning din po!" i got flustered instantly. that was when i began to realize i have a special feeling for him, though i find it really odd. i don't know, maybe it's the age difference and the certainty of his having a family of his own that makes it odd.

i see him a lot by accident. that's what iv been constantly replaying in my head. those fortuitous meetings are strange, not because of their form, but of their frequency. how could his passing by a place i happen to pass by at the same moment occur many times? of course it doesn't mean anything. it's just a happy thought. haha! (basta yun. tama na nga!)