flashback

It’s a gloomy, rainy day today. Last year, November 22 was a Saturday. And it was a hot day. I remember it quite clearly.

It was a very hectic day for me. I got up early and readied myself for the several tasks ahead. When I left the house, I was carrying a heavy bag containing the materials I would need for a meeting later. I also brought an extra shirt, as I saw I’d surely be drenched in sweat long before the day was over.

So many tasks there were indeed that they took so much of my time and energy and compromised my other responsibilities. The stress and the heat were sure to have drained me. At close to evening, I changed into the shirt I brought before going to the meeting with my two friends. It was for our overdue project.

Since my friends had been waiting almost in vain for me since noon, they settled to work in one’s boarding house and not in our usual fast-food hangout. I knew I was looking so haggard when I met with them. I was really already exhausted that I just wanted to quickly finish my part in that project to be able to finally rest at home. But I had to get going with the work so I shouldn’t be thinking of rest yet. What a consolation that my host friend treated us with delivered stuffed-crust pizza.

Oh, I remember that day like it was only yesterday. It was the day I was swept away. Because someone I knew and loved, and still wondered about once in a while from three years back, showed up. He was offered a slice of the pizza. What an intrusion he was to our work. But then I was instantly stunned to mind the distraction he was making.

We started with a few words. Then more words were exchanged between us. Then I don’t know. In my mind, I can vividly playback the words and the scenes. But what happened to me was inexplicable. As something beautiful started between us. Something that changed me. From that moment. From that day…

It was one of those beautiful things that were not meant to last. It has then become something beautiful to remember. Like today, when a year has just passed since then.

But it is a gloomy day today. The pouring of rain doesn’t seem to ever end. What a suitable mood to reminisce a warm day a year ago.

Oh You, Charmer!

Please stop
Don’t try to work your charm on me again
I just might yield to it so easily
And fall to romanticizing anything you say

How can you not simply forget me
When you already have someone?
Why are you still around
Bugging me with all your sweet nonsense?

Stop teasing me
Stop saying the nicest things

How can’t I resist your little game?
How do I keep on letting you hurt me?


(This is so corny, though this is how I feel. I’m a helpless romantic!)

Oops, Heart!

There you go again, heart,
You're testing your resilience again.

How many times did you claim to have let go?
You're supposed to be moving on by now,
For goodness' sake!
Have you forgotten that you shouldn't have given in?

I'm afraid for you, heart.
You're on a standstill again.
Tsk tsk tsk! You can be so tenacious,
So dangerously tenacious!

There you go declaring again:
"I know where I stand.
I'm in control. Blah blah blah…"

Oh, heart,
You're in another jeopardy.
You're likely to be drenched in tears in no time.

But what's the point of this, heart?
You're as stubborn as ever!

sleepless

why was i supposed to have slept 3 hours ago?

- i already didn't get enough sleep the previous night
- i didn't get my usual noontime nap in the office because i met up with my bestfriend from davao, since i love him and i couldn't let the only time we had to see each other pass
- i got very tired from pressure at work and new personal concerns
- i have a due work tomorrow which has to be impressive to make up for my lapses today from which i was reprimanded as they might cause a big trouble to the case handled by my boss attorney
- i need more energy since i'd be staying late the next day for a badminton practice
- i have to get up early to prepare what i'll wear to the office and the so many things i'll need to play badminton
- lack of sleep shows on my face and disorients my thinking

but it's past midnight and i'm not yet sleeping because, again, i got hooked on the internet. and i have yet to eat my supper and wash my face, at least. i'm damned!